Separation between two lovers can trigger some very irrational, arrogant and a set of otherwise abnormal behavior. In the heat of the moment, in a desperate move to prove a point, one or both of you might have thrown abuses, said horribly hurtful things and likely to have become physically violent. Words and actions at these times, especially when the relationship is at its volatile worst, are like one-way arrows, they can never be retrieved and can become insurmountable obstacles when you want to get your ex back.
While most of the bloopers are said or committed in the first 72 hours of the break-up, you might be inclined to know more about the subject, so that you do not continue repeating the same mistakes in your attempts to get your ex back. Here are 10 of the most common errors, which if avoided, can make the process to get your ex back a couple of shades smoother:
1. Abusive words or gestures never take anyone anywhere. Non-violence has helped win many wars in the world and this is no exception to the rule. Bad memories, especially, immediately after the break-up is a reality, remain lodged in the brain nearly forever and can severely impact your subsequent efforts to get your ex back.
2. Never try to promise anything at this stage. Promises of 'changing' yourself or 'correcting' the mistakes which led to the break up would fall in deaf ears. Or, rather fall on ears that are closed to any more positive ideas.
3. Logic and rationality would have to take a backseat when you want to get your ex back. This is because when the person is emotionally charged, enraged or hurt, logical thinking is impossible.
4. Never plead with your ex to stay back. On the contrary, be prepared to eat your words as well as your ego, if you are seriously contemplating to get your ex back.
5. Remember a final decision like leaving a loved one, is usually backed by strong logic and also some kind of desperation. So softer emotional tools like professing undying love or reminders of the several instances of togetherness are not likely to change an already resolute mind. You need to give space to the person at this point in time - mum's the word.
6. Remember when a person decides to break a relationship there is already a substantial amount of guilt, remorse, and repentance for time wasted polluting the mind. Do not stoke the fire by putting more 'guilt' - you could then completely forget about how you can get your ex back.
7. Never invoke pity in your ex. No one is going to understand and empathize with you right now, leave alone your ex. In fact, the more 'pity' you arouse, the more you become an object of ridicule. To get your ex back, this is hardly the time to do a profit and loss account of the relationship.
8. To get your ex back, do not go overboard by buying her gifts, sending her flowers etc. These are usually mistaken to be manipulative gestures.
9. No third person, be it his/her family, a close friend or even a counselor can ever be successful in changing the mind of a person. They may be able to set the person thinking, but things would remain the same, till the urge to get back comes from within.
10. To get your ex back, efforts like emotional blackmailing, white lies - however white they may be or even using pressure tactics never work. On the contrary these gestures remove your ex further away from you.